The Beauty of Visual Schedules.

Quick question for you. How many times a day do you look at your schedule, calendar, or agenda?

I don't know about you but one of the first things I do every morning is open my daily calendar. I always need to review what's on tap for the day so I can mentally prepare myself and have an idea of how my day is going to be structured. This grounds me big time

I also take a good glance at it every Sunday evening so I have a clear idea of what my week looks like.

I would feel 100% completely lost without my calendar.

I don't only have 1 calendar- I have multiples!!! Call me cray.
I have a calendar for work, each of my kids, family stuff, and birthdays.

If I had to rely on my own memory to keep me on track and organized I'd be doomed in seconds.

You probably wouldn't be reading this and we wouldn't probably wouldn't be friends because I wouldn't be so on top of my shit with work.

So here's the deal.... Our kids are NO DIFFERENT!

To be successful, they need predictability!

To feel grounded, they need to know what's expected of them!

To stay focused, they need a plan!

They need a routine, just as much as we need it. Maybe more.

Visual schedules are one of the most powerful tools I use to help my children build routine in their daily life.

I like visual schedules A LOT.

They work as mini calendars for our kids.

They are EXTREMELY effective for kids.

Why you ask? Great question!

because they're concrete.

because kids can glance at them and review them anytime.

because they create a sense of empowerment for kids.

because they don't negotiate. kids can't get into a power struggle with a visual schedule.

This takes a lot of pressure off of parents to be the broken record to keep reminding their kid to do something.

I hate having to ask my kids to do something more than three times. That's where my patience wears thin.

I rather direct them back to their visual schedule then me raising my voice and losing my cool.

the best part about all of this is that once your kid has enough repetition and practice following the visual schedule- they likely will go into autopilot and Ta Da! learning has happened.

Visual schedules don't have to be fancy or high tech. You can grab scrap paper and write out a schedule for your kid if their reading or you can use stickers or simple drawings to create one.

Here's an example of a visual schedule one of my clients recently create for her 6 & 7 year old. It's so simple- she's sticks it on the fridge. She creates them daily or reuses them if she can! Her kids love coming home to check the schedule on the fridge. She also feels like it helps reduce a lot of the stress she experiences at home between the hours of school ending and bed time.

Here’s another example of a visual schedule I use with my kids for their morning routines. They are slightly different than each other because we’re currently toilet training my son so we’ve built in a potty break into his morning routine to make that a regular thing for him.

Here’s your homework. Choose one part of your day that you find stressful. Take out a piece of paper and create a visual schedule for your child. Review the schedule with them- you might have to put in a bit of teaching time but trust me…. short term pain for long term gain. It’s a huge win.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. If you need any help with this in any way, then I want you to book in a FREE 30 minute Strategy call with me so we can get you started with this. I think every parent needs this one in their toolbox.

Monkey See, Monkey Do 🙈

So the moral of the story today is... your child watches your every single move. Monkey see, monkey do is a real thing. DO NOT forget that.

My 5 year old is at camp this week but only enrolled half days in the mornings. We've been spending our afternoons together, which has been really nice. Yesterday afternoon, I had to jump on a quick work call so I stepped into a quiet room and left her to play on her own. She's amazing an entertaining herself, and can literally keep herself busy with imaginary play for hours.

When I got off my call, I noticed she was playing in the bathroom so I headed in that direction to see what she was up to. To my absolute surprise, when I turned the corner it became VERY apparent to me that Barbie had just gotten her first hair cut.

YUP.

that's right.

My 5 year old found a pair of scissors from a utility drawer in my kitchen, got comfy on the bathroom floor and went to town on Barbie's hair.

At first I wanted to lose my shit on her because...
a. safety first
b. there was a HUGE annoying mess all over my bathroom (I hate cleaning anything)

but... I then had to realize that this wasn't her fault at all. This was totally MY doing.

I cut my own kids' hair (usually in the bathroom) and she's obviously experienced it and seen me do it on her brother a handful of times. We've never talked about scissor safety around cutting hair or why's it's important for grown ups only to be cutting.

She didn't know any better. She was just modelling something she'd see me do.

She was exercising her imagination, which I'm all for!

To be honest I was more relieved than anything that she experimented on Barbie and not her own hair (she's got this amazing head of blonde curls- I would have been so sad if she slaughtered it).

So when I actually realized what had just happened, my response to her was (in a very calm tone)...
next time you have the idea of cut your dolls hair, please speak to mummy or daddy so we can make sure it's safe and so we can find a good spot in the house to do.

I knew if I yelled at her and blamed her for all the wrong, then no doubt this would happen again behind closed doors because she would totally be afraid of our reaction.

again... this was just a 5 year old girl modelling what she had seen mum do and was using her imagination in play.

In the next day or so, her and I will have another conversation to reflect on what happened and discuss what we'll do different next time to make sure all is good.

no blame. no shame. no pain involved over here!

I can't stress enough how much your own behaviour dictates your child's behaviour.
Your kiddo is watching your every move.

You are your child's most influential teacher in life.

You've got this,

- Cori

p.s. as stressful as parenting can be... you need to know you're not in it alone. Parenting is NOT intuitive, it's hard eff-ing work. If you need solutions, a plan, or a sounding board then let's get on the phone and chat. Book in a 30 minute call (this one's on me)

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Understanding Picky Eating

This week I'm sending out a message that I think all parents need to hear. 

I was recently working with a client of mine who has 2 kids- one's 4.5 and the other is 1.5. This mama initially reached out to relieve the boat load of stress she carries with her from her 4 year old who has a VERY VERY limited repertoire of foods that she eats. 

There are a few reasons why this causes her so much stress, but it really burns when she has to sit her two kids down to eat at the same time and her 1.5 year old literally eats anything and everything, while her other has such a limited palate. 

She's concerned about the anxiety this creates for her older one
She's concerned that her older one isn't getting enough nutrition
She's concerned that her older one is going to develop a complex around this, that will effect her mental health down the line.

This is my message to her and any other parents who battles any ounce of stress from raising a picky eater. 

Feeding and eating are skills that need to be learned. These are not innate skills that we are born with. The good news about this is that we can teach our children these skills. These are skills children can learn over time. The research shows that children need to be exposed to foods 15-20 times before they are even willing to put it in their mouths. This number jumps to about 30 times for children on the Autism Spectrum.

There are several foods I eat now that I would have NEVER touched as a child. Foods that my own children have absolutely loved from day 1. Go figure!

Taste buds evolve over time, but for some that might mean years. and that OK.

While some of us have taste preferences (mine’s forsure salty), some children are very sensitive to textures. Again, this doesn’t have to be a forever thing- there’s ways to teach your child to eat different textures.

Some children have oral motor challenges that make eating very difficult. This has to do with all those tiny muscles in and around your face that are involved in eating. This might not be obvious to the naked eye, but highly trained professionals can assess this and prescribe treatment to address it! I’m working through these exact challenges right now with my son. We see an Occupational Therapist for feeding therapy to help strengthen his cheeks and lips so he can better develop a solid rotary chew so he’s not a complete disastrous mess after each meal. I would have never known that was his challenge if I didn’t have him assessed. But it all makes sense now!

Lastly, there only one way to know if your child is getting enough nutrition. That information will come directly from your child’s doctor. It’s your child’s dr’s responsibility to track their height and weight over time. Some dr’s chart this on a growth chart and some don’t- but either way they can look at the growth over time and tell you if your child getting enough of what they need.

Bottom line, feeding your child isn’t as intuitive as you might have thought it is. If you see emerging signs of a picky eater or currently have a picky eater I want you to rest assured that this isn’t definitive. Also know, that if their picky eating is something you are comfortable with (given that your child is following their own growth curve) then that’s completely fine too! Each parent has their own end goal in mind and that’s yours to hold on to.

If your end goal is to raise a child that a healthy and balanced relationship with food, then there are lots of do’s and don’t on the parenting end that you need to be cognizant of. I’m going to be sharing those do’s and don’t in the coming weeks so stay tuned….

Deep breath! You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you are dealing with any type of feeding problem at home and are looking for a dynamic solution then I want you to reach out so we can chat. Book in your FREE 30-minute call. 

You can learn more about my Multidisciplinary Feeding Team here.

3 Ways to Teach Your Child to Eat Foods You Don't Necessarily Like Yourself.

Random question for you...

On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like tomatoes?

I can honestly say I do NOT. I have a very hard time tolerating raw tomatoes in my mouth. For me it's a texture thing.

I love tomato sauce (Costco White Linen brand is my fav),

tomato soup.. yum!

cooked tomatoes.... not my fav, but don't mind them.

Am I weird!?! This is something I'm working on. I often go back to trying little bits and pieces of raw tomatoes in my salads and recipes. I'm starting to tolerate small little pieces in salads but it's a work in progress.

So I'm telling you my deepest and darkest secrets here because I faced a huge challenge when it came time to introduce my children to tomatoes.

I must say I was a bit stumped. I was so enthusiastic about all the other foods that I introduced to them before the red round veg. How the heck was I going to do this!?!

Well mamas & papas...

I did it.

My children are just about 5 & 3 and both of them eat tomatoes. raw tomatoes. cooked tomatoes. tomato sauce. and everything in between.

I recently shared my "how to" with a client of mine and thought this would be good for any parent who is teaching their child to eat a new food that they themselves might not necessarily like. I can't stress enough how much your attitude and behaviour towards food directly effects your child's. Please be very mindful of your actions and approach when teaching your child to eat. We are all in the business of raising well balanced children who have a healthy relationship with food.

More on the importance of that healthy relationship to come. But for now….

3 Strategies for teaching your child to eat foods you don't necessarily like yourself.

1. Check your shit at the door. Regardless of how much you dislike a food, when you introduce and feed it to your child you make absolutely no mention of your preference, or lack there of. You approach the situation in a very neutral way and serve it up like it's no big deal. Watch your body language here- kids can read you like a book. This means your facial expressions, the way you look at the food, and your proximity to the food. When I put tomatoes on the table, I simply act the same way as if I were putting a juicy watermelon out for grabs (love watermelon!). I welcome it to the table and show the exact same enthusiasm.

2. Choose a model. Being mindful in this process includes thinking things through before putting food on the table. If you are going to introduce your child to a food that you will NOT eat then make sure to introduce it when there's someone around that will eat it. So... in the early days when tomatoes came up on my list, I made sure to introduce it for the first couple of times while my husband was home. It's important that children see us eat the food we are asking them to eat. Children learn directly through their environment! They are looking to you for that thumbs up or down.

3. Choose 1 Interaction- A big part of teaching kids how to eat has to do with how they're exposed to foods at a young age. The process of teaching your child to eat is NOT limited to them putting food in their mouth and deciding if they like it or not.  Dietician, Ahuva Magder Hershkop uses the first date analogy, which I really love. She always questions whether or not you'd kiss a person on a first/blind date. Most people would say 'no' (no judgement here if you're a 'yes') but you'd take your time to get to know the person, feel them out, and over time decide if you're into them or not before you lunge in for that first kiss. Kids are no different with food. Sometimes they need to interact with food in different ways before they are willing to take a bite. So this is your chance to pick up that tomato and find something to do with it, other than eat it. Play with it together, smush it up, blend it, juice it, whatever floats your boat. Just remember that you can introduce it to your child without any pressure to actually consume it!

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. There are ONLY 3 tickets left for my event next week "Transitioning into Kindergarten". If you've got a 2015 baby, this one's for you. If you haven't already starting prepping your child for this HUGE transition, you better get going. Come kick off you Kindergarten prep with me next week. All the info you need is right here!

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ST🚫P the Whining!

Today's your day. I'm throwing you a bone. I'm giving you a few of my strategies on how to curb whining. In my opinion there's nothing more painful than listening to your child whine. 

The first time it happens.... ok fine.
The second time is happens..... I'm a bit annoyed but can deal
The third, fourth, & fifth time..... I'm about to lose my shit (and that's not good for no one) 🙅

Whining is one thing in my house that I don't tolerate. My threshold for it is extremely low. After a few times of hearing it, my body starts to tense, my jaw clenches and automatically my hair starts to frizz 😤 That's my fight or flight response to whining, ha!

Children use whining as a form of expression. It's an emotional outlet for them. It's a way for them to indirectly unload their feelings in a very annoying way (for lack of a better term).

There is some good new to this. Whining is a cue for us! It's a sign letting us know that our child needs our help to work through whatever feelings and emotions they are experiencing.

Some children whine when they're tired, some when they're hungry, and some when they're overstimulated. Some children whine when they feel challenged, defeated, and/or annoyed.

Now if you think your toddler or preschooler is going to very calmly and politely come up to you and say...
          "mom I"m feeling completely overstimulated because the tv is on, you and dad are talking loud, and my sister is running back and forth through the hallway with her toys, and I'm tired because I was at daycare all day today" ....then we need to chat.

It's more like... (read in whiny voice) "mummy, I can't hear the tv. mummyyyy, mummyyyy, ahhhhh, waaaa, muuuummy, I want to hear the tv, I can't hear the tv.

What you MUST know about whining, is the second you respond to your child by turning the tv up and lowering your voice at the same time, you have just reinforced the whining so you better believe it's going to happen again and again and again! Your child just struck gold! He got exactly what he wanted! 💥

We have to support our children in expressing their emotions. We have to support their emotional needs, and we have to teach them that whining is not an effective way of getting shit done.

Here's 3 ways to you can do that... It's time to say buh-bye to that whining noise!

1. Make your child aware
Children need to be made aware of their behaviour. Whenever my son or daughter whines I will immediately say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining". You have to give it a name, label it for them. Building awareness is the first part to curbing this behaviour. Labelling it once, won't do anything. You want to keep labelling the whining behaviour until you start to see some change happen.

2. Give your child an alternative action
Once you've started labelling the whining behaviour you need to give your child an alternative response to the whining. So if my child starts to whine, I will say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, you can use your big kid voice instead and ask nicely". Since this is an emotional response- we wouldn't want to send our child the message that they shouldn't express themselves so you can also say something like "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, if you're hungry please tell mummy you're tummy feels hungry and we'll get you a yummy snack". Modelling the appropriate response is really important here. Show them exactly what it's suppose to look like. They need that model.

3. Give another chance
Again, since the whining behaviour is a form of communication, we don't want to hinder it. We don't want our children to feel blamed or shamed for trying to express themselves. We want them to feel empowered to express their emotional needs. So when you're child starts to whine, you always want to give them another chance to practice the alternative behaviour you provided them with. Don't just shut them out and tell them to stop whining. That will just escalate things further and you'll end up in power struggle or melt down territory. I love the phrase "try again or do you want to try again". For example I'll say "that's whining, mummy doesn't like whining, you can use your big kid voice instead and ask nicely, do you want to try again".

Try these out and stick to the script. After practicing these strategies consistently, you will see the whining behaviour start to decrease. We've used these strategies so much in my house that now all I have to say is "that's whining" and my kids redirect their response to a way more functional one! No more frizzy hair for me! (at least from the whining!)

I've got more strategies around this and any other behaviour that comes your way. If your feeling exhausted, stressed or defeated in any way then I want you to book in a FREE 30-minute strategy call with me. I've got solutions for you. Let's chat!

You've got this!
Cori

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Supporting Emotional Regulation, Turn Taking and Cooperation in a Play-Based Environment

We know the early years of a child’s life are the most critical in developing his or hers social and emotional development.  Developing emotional regulation and cooperation isn’t something that comes naturally to growing children - this is something that must be taught on an ongoing basis and requires lots of modelling and repetition.

What is emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation refers to the ability of child to return to a calm and alert state after an emotional  “bump” of some kind.  This bump could be extremely positive or negative - it may be a full-blown tantrum or a display of over-excitement that is difficult to contain.  In any case, it’s important to note that kids are born with a range of emotions but need adult support to learn regulate so we must be mindful of what our children are actually capable of when we’re setting out our expectations for them.  

Play is an amazing avenue to teach emotional regulation, cooperation and turn taking because children are naturally playful and are drawn to play.  Studies show that young children learn best in a play-based environment when they are following their own interests so we should capitalize on this!  Play (almost always or should) occurs in a safe, non-threatening environment so children are more willing to take risks where they may not do so in other situations.  In play-based scenarios, they learn important skills like negotiating with their peers, taking turns, waiting, and feeling disappointment/excitement.

What you can do to support emotional regulation

Firstly, allow your child to express their emotions (positive and negative) while you help them to identify and label those feelings.  We want to be careful to not stifle or repress those big emotions as this may have implications later on in their social/emotional development.

Mirror play and role play is a great start to help children learn to identify what their feelings actually look like when they are experiencing them.  The next time your child is upset, comment on their appearance and have them see what they look like: “Oh my goodness, you look really sad, you’re crying and your mouth is in a frown - can you see your tears in the mirror?  Poor you, you must need an extra cuddle.” On the other end of the emotional spectrum, make sure to comment on their facial expression and/or action if they are really excited about something - ““Wow, good for you! Look at you clapping your hands, you must be really proud of yourself for finishing that puzzle!  I can see all your teeth and your mouth looks like an orange slice because you’re smiling so much!”

Likewise, parents should model the same sort of emotions and feelings during play to show children how to react.  This may come naturally or you may need to manufacture a situation that would cause you frustration or disappointment to make it a teachable moment - “Oh no!  My tower keeps falling over, it’s making me a bit mad but I’m going to keep trying. Can you help me build it?” This fairly simple statement demonstrates a number of important things:

1. It’s showing that adults have real emotions too!  As parents, we want to stay as emotionally stable as we can in front of our children but it’s actually important for them to witness us experience frustration, disappointment, excitement etc in order to normalize those feelings to them

2. It’s showing perseverance.  A big part of developing emotional regulation is that ability to return to a calm state and either move on or try something again.  By saying “I’m going to keep trying”, we’re teaching our kids that we may have hiccups and get frustrated, but we can still get over it and return to the task at hand

3. It’s showing the ability to ask for help.  Self-regulation doesn’t mean that children are completely left on their own to deal with their emotions, rather they have a constructive set of tools and strategies to help deal with them.  Teaching our kids to ask for help is one of those strategies

Teaching sharing and cooperation during play

This is an ongoing and often arduous task that takes years and years of input but don’t give up - your efforts will pay off!  

Giving Choice

Children ultimately want to be in control of their environment.  So much of their lives are dictated to them and for them so allowing them to choose what they want to play with is a great start.  If they are happy with what toy or game they’ve chosen, they will be more likely to cooperate during the activity. So,during play, allowing them to choose activities or steer direction of play “Do you want to play with the puzzle first or the magformers?” “After your turn, who should have a turn next - Mommy or Daddy?”

Using First, Next/Then Statements

Using first/next language prepares children for what’s coming up and it will make them more likely to comply with a request if it comes with a bit of a warning rather than a surprise. “First Myka is going to do some drawing and then Mommy is going to add to it” or “Who should drive the car down the ramp first?  Saul or Daddy? Ok first Saul will drive it and then it’s Daddy’s turn.” Giving a heads up to what will be coming next is helpful for children to learn to regulate their emotions.

Using Simple Language and Practice, Practice, Practice!

Encourage turn-taking and sharing with simple language like “my turn, your turn” or “Mommy’s turn, Claire’s turn”.  Younger children don’t have the cognitive capacity to listen to a long-winded explanation about sharing, especially if they may be getting into a heightened emotional state.  So best to use simple, short and consistent phrases that they understand. Modelling these strategies over and over will help reinforce these concepts. Practice makes permanent.

Engaging in Imaginative/Pretend Play

Imaginative play is a GREAT way to act out real-life social and emotional scenes in a safe and fun environment (while stealthily teaching cooperation skills!).  Role play situations that they are interested and engaged in. The kitchen/cooking/restaurant is generally a popular role play scenario - kids love acting out things that are familiar to them.  In these types of scenarios, you can play out patience (waiting your turn to be seated at the table if you’re pretending you’re in a restaurant for example), making choices and turn taking (ordering your food), dealing with disappointment (“I’m sorry James, we don’t have any more hamburgers today, can you choose something else?”, sharing (“If you’re really interested in the hamburger, you can ask Joe if he’ll share his and we can cut it in the middle”) and cooperation (“Oh dear, the dishwasher is broken in the kitchen - who can help me wash up the dishes in the sink?”).  

Remember -  self-regulation and cooperation are difficult and complex concepts to master!  Be persistent, consistent and patient and they will eventually internalize it all.

Mary Wolff & Talia Shapero

Co-Founders, Smart Cookie Club

Visit The Smart Cookie Club online for more info about play based learning!

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Teach gratitude NOT entitlement

I'm just coming off of a week long high from our all of our (what feels like 875,125) Hanukkah celebrations. I'm officially exhausted and ready for some downtime! Around this time of the year I always find myself having the exact same thoughts.

 What do I want to teach my kids about the holidays?

 Should I put a lot of emphasis on the religious stuff? (even though we aren't religious people)

 The traditional stuff?

 The cultural stuff?

 ahhh!!!! What the heck is best for my child???

 What I've observed so far is that a mix of the above variables have made it's way into our home over the holidays, and it's worked for us.

 Now, aside from all the uncertainty around the religious, traditional, and cultural stuff that I should be introducing my children to, the one thought in my head that has been MOST consistent year to year is this idea around teaching gratitude. Aside from modelling this day to day, the holidays are a great opportunity to teach our children about gratitude. No, what makes this a little tricky is the idea around gifting & abundance.

 How many toys does your child have that they NEVER EVER play with?

 How much clutter does the abundance of toys in your house occupy?

 Does your child play with a new toy for a few days and then completely forget about it?

 When you try to get rid of toys does your child all of a sudden act like it's their most favourite toy EVER?

 What the heck are we teaching our children by giving them an abundance of gifts all at once? or even grand gifts that are just over the top necessary. Does it become more about us than them?

 Isn't your child more into the box or wrapping than the actual toy??

 Now, Hannukah is 8 nights long and there are some families that choose to give their child a gift every. single. night. I personally think the idea is really cool but... in comes your child who is now expecting a gift every single night and starts to melt when the gift...

a. doesn't come fast enough

b. isn't as stimulating as the one from the previous night or

c. isn't what they expected it would be

 At what point does the novelty run out? How can we teach the concept of appreciation & gratitude when there's such an abundance, and a set expectation. Truth is...It becomes really really hard. It actually backfires.

 If your child has very excited and generous grandparents or family members & friends that all want to shower them with gifts for the holidays there's a few things you can do to avoid the abundance or grand gestures and really focus on what matters; appreciation & gratitude for what you have and what you get. In my books- it's always going to be quality over quantity!

1. Experiences over material items- if anyone of the gift givers are asking you for input, then recommend gifting an experience vs. a toy. This is a great way for children to be out in the world learning all types of skills and building memories. This year I bought my cousins' kids gift certificates to the movies. In the past I've also done tickets to the aquarium, zoo, science centre, & Canada's Wonderland. Now, this can be a win-win if the person gifting the experience wants to enjoy the experience with your child- they take your child out & you get a bit of a break! #momwin

2. Stash & Store - This is what my dining room table looked like after ONLY the first night of Hanukkah- 98% of this has now been stashed and stored away.  This is my go-to around the holidays and birthdays. When my children get an abundance of stuff all at once, I literally hand them 1-2 new items and stash the remaining items away in storage. I now have a bank of new toys and activities that I can either pull out on a rainy day or use as a reward for exceptional behaviour. The point is, they come out very slowly over time.

3. Donate- If you know your child is receiving an abundance of toys and there's no way to avoid it, then build in a pay-it-forward system. Find local charities that take toy donations over the holidays. Have your child physically go with you and donate a toy to someone in need. To make this meaningful, discuss with them the importance about donating toys. You can go one step further and have them donate something they actually like or care about. Giving up something you care about is a very hard skill for a child- this is a great opportunity to strengthen that skill!

Moral of the story... Keep it simple for you child! Continue to find opportunities to teach them how to be a good person. This is a great time of the year to reflect on your parenting style and suit up for 2019. If you want support setting new parenting goals for 2019, then let's chat! Book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can get you equipped with tools to be the best parent you can be.

You've got this!
- Cori

p.s. I've got a super exciting announcement coming for 2019. I'll be announcing it first in Behave it or NOT! so make sure to keep your eyes open for it!

10 ways to foster growth & development over the summer

Summer is officially here! Yay!!! I find there’s a special relationship between the summer and a child’s growth and development. My own theory is that school is out, camp is in, and thus kids are overall more relaxed. A happy child is a relaxed child, and a relaxed child learns best. This also holds true for toddlers who aren’t in school yet. I find they spend A LOT more time outside, which means more time to move and groove. The more active the child, the more in balance they are internally and thus the more relaxed they are overall. The developmental leaps that take place over the summer are always the most obvious to me.

With that said, children don’t make these leaps on their own. They count on you for a lot of it. Here are 10 ways to maximize your time over the summer to foster growth and development.

Here it is…

1. Set up a solid structure & routine

Children thrive off of predictability. They do really well when they know what to expect and what’s coming next. So if your child is not in a full time daycare or camp program, make sure you are providing a solid structure throughout their days and weeks in the summer. Create a structure with very clear expectations and outcomes and create a summer routine that allows them to have lots of opportunity to experience new learning opportunities. If you can accomplish this, then your transition into the fall and start of school will be a breeze. This will also help keep disruptive behaviours down.

2. Provide your child with opportunity to contribute to your household

Toddlers & school-aged children need to feel a sense of empowerment to satisfy their developmental needs. They are now at a stage where they are becoming independent little people and learning how the exercise control over their world. The most functional way you can keep their empowerment bucket full is to start letting them contribute to household tasks. For example; making their bed, sorting laundry, putting their clothes in the laundry basket, preparing simple foods, turning lights on and off when you enter and exit a room, and the list goes on…. This won't happen over night, there's some teaching involved here but trust me... a little teaching now will help you out big time in the long run. Don’t forget to make this super FUN!

3. Lots of physical activity

Summer time is the best time to be outside and give your child lots opportunities to engage in proprioceptive and vestibular movement. These movements are necessary to awaken all the sense our bodies need to develop strong gross and fine motor skills. Let them climb ladders and slides, hang from monkey bars and problem solve their way through different playground structures. Bonus is that your child will build confidence and self-esteem from this!

4. Let them “do it myself” and “help”

The name of the game is INDEPENDENCE at this stage of development. This might be the most painful thing for some parents because we know there’s a dreaded mess that’s going to follow or just create more work for us but…. We have to see the value in process over product here. Children are convinced they are “response-able” at this stage and if we send them a message that we think otherwise then what are we really teaching them? Be patient, take a deep breath, and be ok with a little bit of mess.

5. Teach responsibility around peer and/or sibling interactions

Stop forcing your child to say “sorry”. What’s the point? What are you actually teaching them? You’ll be better off to help them label their own emotions when they are confronted with a conflict  and help them work through those emotions. Empathize with them and let them know that you also experience these emotions. Once your child is calm then you can talk resolution with them. Ask them what they could do different next time. Ask them what they’ve learned from the situation. You might be shocked to see how inclined they are to apologize on their own or problem solve a little better next time. This does however take time and work, so don’t give up if it doesn’t resonate the first time around.

6. Model responsibility around caring for items

You are your child’s greatest role model in life! Be very explicit about choices you are making in and around the house. Start speaking your thoughts out loud. For example; “I forgot I left my shirt on the floor, I better pick it up and put it away” or “I’m feeling so tired but I better put my books away so I can find them tomorrow”. Model and they will do!

7. Teach your child a new skill every week!

This is the best! Create list of new skills you want your child to learn over the summer. Every week you are going to focus on one new skill and provide a ton of opportunity to practice that new skills. This is your time to get creative!!! If you have a child entering Kindergarten in the fall, this is the perfect opportunity to work on some of those essential skills they need for the Kindergarten transition- such as holding a crayon properly, using scissors, getting dressed by themselves, using buttons and zippers, opening and closing food containers, and the list goes on…. have fun with it!

8. Foster problem solving skills

The goal here is to present your child with new situations and activities and start asking them question to problem solve through them instead of telling them what to do. Encourage your child to explore different solutions and even ask questions if they are unsure. If you are binging on playground time while the weather is nice this is the perfect opportunity to foster problem solving skills. Take your child to new playgrounds and let them figure out how to navigate through the different play structures. If they get stuck, present them with questions to spark their thoughts. For example; “what can you grab on to to make it to the next level?”

9. Encourage risk taking

Be honest here… How many times a day do you say “be careful” to your child? We need to be cognizant of this and try to limit this expression. We need to expect bumps and bruises along the way. Taking risks presents our children with challenges. Working through challenges makes them feel so good!!! HELLO self-esteem! This will take them a lot further in their growth and development than constantly hearing “good job”, “ you did it”. Let them feel it intrinsically!

10. Do something a little extraordinary

It’s summer time!!! This is the time to do something new, novel, and extraordinary with your child. Give them an experience they’ve never had before. Whether it’s going to an amusement park, the theatre for the first time, a sleep-over, or blueberry picking (one of my personal favourites). These novel experiences are priceless learning opportunities for your child. Exposing them to something new will just help widen their view of the world and broaden their understanding of their own emotions, thoughts, and relationships with other people and things.

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