I recently walked into one of my clients' houses and had such a proud mom moment. Not so much for something my kids did but for something this mama did. something so simple. one simple strategy that ended up being a game changer for her!vIt took her 30 seconds to implement and has saved her hours of stress with her kids.
So the moral of the story today is... your child watches your every single move. Monkey see, monkey do is a real thing. DO NOT forget that.
My 5 year old is at camp this week but only enrolled half days in the mornings. We've been spending our afternoons together, which has been really nice. Yesterday afternoon, I had to jump on a quick work call so I stepped into a quiet room and left her to play on her own. She's amazing an entertaining herself, and can literally keep herself busy with imaginary play for hours.
When I got off my call, I noticed she was playing in the bathroom so I headed in that direction to see what she was up to. To my absolute surprise, when I turned the corner it became VERY apparent to me that Barbie had just gotten her first hair cut.
YUP.
that's right.
My 5 year old found a pair of scissors from a utility drawer in my kitchen, got comfy on the bathroom floor and went to town on Barbie's hair.
At first I wanted to lose my shit on her because...
a. safety first
b. there was a HUGE annoying mess all over my bathroom (I hate cleaning anything)
but... I then had to realize that this wasn't her fault at all. This was totally MY doing.
I cut my own kids' hair (usually in the bathroom) and she's obviously experienced it and seen me do it on her brother a handful of times. We've never talked about scissor safety around cutting hair or why's it's important for grown ups only to be cutting.
She didn't know any better. She was just modelling something she'd see me do.
She was exercising her imagination, which I'm all for!
To be honest I was more relieved than anything that she experimented on Barbie and not her own hair (she's got this amazing head of blonde curls- I would have been so sad if she slaughtered it).
So when I actually realized what had just happened, my response to her was (in a very calm tone)...
next time you have the idea of cut your dolls hair, please speak to mummy or daddy so we can make sure it's safe and so we can find a good spot in the house to do.
I knew if I yelled at her and blamed her for all the wrong, then no doubt this would happen again behind closed doors because she would totally be afraid of our reaction.
again... this was just a 5 year old girl modelling what she had seen mum do and was using her imagination in play.
In the next day or so, her and I will have another conversation to reflect on what happened and discuss what we'll do different next time to make sure all is good.
no blame. no shame. no pain involved over here!
I can't stress enough how much your own behaviour dictates your child's behaviour.
Your kiddo is watching your every move.
You are your child's most influential teacher in life.
You've got this,
- Cori
p.s. as stressful as parenting can be... you need to know you're not in it alone. Parenting is NOT intuitive, it's hard eff-ing work. If you need solutions, a plan, or a sounding board then let's get on the phone and chat. Book in a 30 minute call (this one's on me)
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