Today I'm sharing a strategy I use at home with my kids that's been extremely effective in helping them manage their emotions. a.k.a. a way of reducing a ton of unnecessary crying.
Stop the crying!
Monkey See, Monkey Do 🙈
So the moral of the story today is... your child watches your every single move. Monkey see, monkey do is a real thing. DO NOT forget that.
My 5 year old is at camp this week but only enrolled half days in the mornings. We've been spending our afternoons together, which has been really nice. Yesterday afternoon, I had to jump on a quick work call so I stepped into a quiet room and left her to play on her own. She's amazing an entertaining herself, and can literally keep herself busy with imaginary play for hours.
When I got off my call, I noticed she was playing in the bathroom so I headed in that direction to see what she was up to. To my absolute surprise, when I turned the corner it became VERY apparent to me that Barbie had just gotten her first hair cut.
YUP.
that's right.
My 5 year old found a pair of scissors from a utility drawer in my kitchen, got comfy on the bathroom floor and went to town on Barbie's hair.
At first I wanted to lose my shit on her because...
a. safety first
b. there was a HUGE annoying mess all over my bathroom (I hate cleaning anything)
but... I then had to realize that this wasn't her fault at all. This was totally MY doing.
I cut my own kids' hair (usually in the bathroom) and she's obviously experienced it and seen me do it on her brother a handful of times. We've never talked about scissor safety around cutting hair or why's it's important for grown ups only to be cutting.
She didn't know any better. She was just modelling something she'd see me do.
She was exercising her imagination, which I'm all for!
To be honest I was more relieved than anything that she experimented on Barbie and not her own hair (she's got this amazing head of blonde curls- I would have been so sad if she slaughtered it).
So when I actually realized what had just happened, my response to her was (in a very calm tone)...
next time you have the idea of cut your dolls hair, please speak to mummy or daddy so we can make sure it's safe and so we can find a good spot in the house to do.
I knew if I yelled at her and blamed her for all the wrong, then no doubt this would happen again behind closed doors because she would totally be afraid of our reaction.
again... this was just a 5 year old girl modelling what she had seen mum do and was using her imagination in play.
In the next day or so, her and I will have another conversation to reflect on what happened and discuss what we'll do different next time to make sure all is good.
no blame. no shame. no pain involved over here!
I can't stress enough how much your own behaviour dictates your child's behaviour.
Your kiddo is watching your every move.
You are your child's most influential teacher in life.
You've got this,
- Cori
p.s. as stressful as parenting can be... you need to know you're not in it alone. Parenting is NOT intuitive, it's hard eff-ing work. If you need solutions, a plan, or a sounding board then let's get on the phone and chat. Book in a 30 minute call (this one's on me)
ST🚫P the Whining!
Teach gratitude NOT entitlement
Want to avoid raising an entitled child? Here are 3 effective strategies to try out over the holiday season!
"heads up"- get your child to listen to you.
My most used strategy lately has been the "heads up" strategy. This is my 'go-to' when I need my kids to listen to me and transition away from something that they really really enjoy (cue a really deep breath).
Parenting Epidemic 2018
WE HAVE A HUGE PARENTING EPIDEMIC on our hands…. so huge that we don’t even realize it in the moment. I’ll preface this with the fact that the way you spend time with your child is directly related to your child’s behaviour.
Let's talk MORNING ROUTINE!
A successful morning routine involves a little planning and a lot of patience. Whether you are an early-to-rise person or NOT you can be quite successful with a bit of strategy.