This week I'm sending out a message that I think all parents need to hear.
I was recently working with a client of mine who has 2 kids- one's 4.5 and the other is 1.5. This mama initially reached out to relieve the boat load of stress she carries with her from her 4 year old who has a VERY VERY limited repertoire of foods that she eats.
There are a few reasons why this causes her so much stress, but it really burns when she has to sit her two kids down to eat at the same time and her 1.5 year old literally eats anything and everything, while her other has such a limited palate.
She's concerned about the anxiety this creates for her older one
She's concerned that her older one isn't getting enough nutrition
She's concerned that her older one is going to develop a complex around this, that will effect her mental health down the line.
This is my message to her and any other parents who battles any ounce of stress from raising a picky eater.
Feeding and eating are skills that need to be learned. These are not innate skills that we are born with. The good news about this is that we can teach our children these skills. These are skills children can learn over time. The research shows that children need to be exposed to foods 15-20 times before they are even willing to put it in their mouths. This number jumps to about 30 times for children on the Autism Spectrum.
There are several foods I eat now that I would have NEVER touched as a child. Foods that my own children have absolutely loved from day 1. Go figure!
Taste buds evolve over time, but for some that might mean years. and that OK.
While some of us have taste preferences (mine’s forsure salty), some children are very sensitive to textures. Again, this doesn’t have to be a forever thing- there’s ways to teach your child to eat different textures.
Some children have oral motor challenges that make eating very difficult. This has to do with all those tiny muscles in and around your face that are involved in eating. This might not be obvious to the naked eye, but highly trained professionals can assess this and prescribe treatment to address it! I’m working through these exact challenges right now with my son. We see an Occupational Therapist for feeding therapy to help strengthen his cheeks and lips so he can better develop a solid rotary chew so he’s not a complete disastrous mess after each meal. I would have never known that was his challenge if I didn’t have him assessed. But it all makes sense now!
Lastly, there only one way to know if your child is getting enough nutrition. That information will come directly from your child’s doctor. It’s your child’s dr’s responsibility to track their height and weight over time. Some dr’s chart this on a growth chart and some don’t- but either way they can look at the growth over time and tell you if your child getting enough of what they need.
Bottom line, feeding your child isn’t as intuitive as you might have thought it is. If you see emerging signs of a picky eater or currently have a picky eater I want you to rest assured that this isn’t definitive. Also know, that if their picky eating is something you are comfortable with (given that your child is following their own growth curve) then that’s completely fine too! Each parent has their own end goal in mind and that’s yours to hold on to.
If your end goal is to raise a child that a healthy and balanced relationship with food, then there are lots of do’s and don’t on the parenting end that you need to be cognizant of. I’m going to be sharing those do’s and don’t in the coming weeks so stay tuned….
Deep breath! You've got this!
Cori
p.s. If you are dealing with any type of feeding problem at home and are looking for a dynamic solution then I want you to reach out so we can chat. Book in your FREE 30-minute call.
You can learn more about my Multidisciplinary Feeding Team here.
