Should your child listen to you immediately?

This might be up for debate but I don't think your child should necessarily listen to you immediately when you ask them to do something.

Let's unpack this...

Your life experiences form your belief system.

Your belief system guides your thoughts and your thoughts trigger your actions.

That’s just how it goes.

Sorta crazy to think about how your own childhood experiences are guiding your daily parenting practices right now with your own child(ren).

So here’s the deal…. If you are constantly finding yourself in power struggle mode with your child it’s not because your child is bad or because you’re not a good parent.

It’s likely because you’re hanging onto the belief that when you ask your child to do something they should listen to you immediately!

There’s a whole generation of us that were parented this way. So that’s what we know!

Through your childhood experiences this became a part of your belief system. A belief that is now triggering power struggles in your home.

How realistic is this belief?

Your child is a tiny little egocentric human that has their own needs, thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that should be respected through your interactions with them (that's if you see them as their own person). This is especially true when you’re asking them to switch gears and move away from something enjoyable, motivating, and low effort.

When you approach your child like an object rather than a person, they feel that immediately and push back to regain a sense of control and connection.

PERSPECTIVE is the greatest trait any parent can have. This is what’s shifting parents from being the Power Struggler Parent to The Empowered Parent!

Beliefs can change, no need to keep getting stuck in this parenting trap.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If this resonates with you, click here and leave a comment to let me know so I can send you a really simple solution on how to get your child to listen to you when you need them to cooperate.

Double-click to edit...

3 ways to prep yourself for a month of parenting while social distancing

Welcome April! Now that it’s official that the kids are home for the month. Here are 3 strategies I’m using to set myself up for a successful month with them. I’m going to make the most out of this because it’s not often we get to all spend so much quality time together. I’m using these 3 strategies in an effort to reduce the overwhelm and stress in my home

Here they are…

1. Set up a Calendar- I'm using a calendar system with my kids to help build structure and predictability for the month. I'm a huge fan of My Starry Chart, which is an interactive responsibility board game for kids. I'm doubling it up this month also as a functional calendar. Each of my kids have chosen 5 household responsibilities they will be focusing on this month (which by the way is super empowering for them) so we will be rewarding them using the chart. We are also celebrating a lot of birthdays this month so we've made sticky notes for each bday and put them on the calendar.  I will be incorporating some literacy and math into the calendar- we will be working on counting (1-20 for my son who is almost 4) and skip counting (by 2, and 5 for my daughter who is almost 6). I'm also going to have my daughter start a journal so she will use the calendar to write in the date every day.

2. Set Learning Goals- I've done some goal setting so I have a bit of structure to work with. I've made a list of 5 new skills that I want each of my kids to learn this month. You can choose as many as you think are realistic for your family. Some are academic, some are life skills, some are motor development skills like cutting and using a fork while eating. Don't feel pressure that is has to be academic all day every day. There is so much value in teaching your child relevant life skills. No joke, one of my goals is to work on simply 'waiting'- patience is a big one for my son. 

3. Online Activity Routine- I've been completely overwhelmed by the amount of resource available online for kids to learn, to the point where I just stopped paying attention to what's available out there. Not the best coping mechanism but desperate times calls for desperate measures. So what I've done is I've picked two online learning activities/week for each for my children to do. They will be doing them at the same times each week to help build routine and structure. This helps with the mom guilt big time since I know that we have structured learning time set up.

We're all in this together, there's no need to feel alone here.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. if you have any questions about The PPC you can reply to this email or book in a FREE 30 minute call to chat. Happy to answer any of your questions. The deadline to sign up in Sunday at 9:00pm (EST)

#1 Strategies For Reducing Stress At Mealtime

Today I'm sharing my #1 MUST that ALL parents need to know about feeding their child.

This is my #1 MUST for reducing any stress around mealtime.

This is my #1 MUST for raising an intuitive eater

This is my #1 MUST for avoiding and curbing picky eating.

On a sale from 1-10 how much struggle do you experience with mealtime?

There's nothing worse than taking the time to prepare a nice meal just to have your kid refuse it (been there).

There's nothing worse than spending money on food to have it thrown out in the garbage.

There's nothing worse than having to make 5 different meals every mealtime to cater to each person's preferences- so stressful!!!

Here it is!!!

1 single strategy that will be a game changer for you. 

promise. 

Here's to stress-free meals from here on in!

You’ve got this!

Cori

Potty Training Magic- 4 Strategies to get your child comfortable on the toilet.

The time will come for your kid to ditch the diapers and start using the potty,, but this transition is definitely not an easy one. The first thing you should be focusing on to successfully potty train your kid is getting them comfortable and relaxed while sitting on the toilet. If they aren’t experiencing this kind of environment, you can’t expect them to eliminate anything. They will not budge!

So here is some potty training magic for you! Below you’ll find 4 tried, tested, and true strategies that you can use to relax your kid while they’re on the toilet:  

Strategy #1: Glitter Jar

My kids have been loving glitter jars lately! They are super easy to make, fun to use, and most importantly they’re cost effective. All you’ll need is: a plastic or glass bottle (preferably plastic since it’s safer), water, clear glue, and a whole bunch of glitter. Throw all of that into the bottle and voila you have yourself a glitter jar! It’ll be super calming for your kid to watch the glitter fall.  

Strategy #2: Projector Toys 

Another go-to I use with my kids are projector toys, which can come in all shapes and sizes. All you have to do is turn the bathroom light off, click the on switch, and colourful projector lights will be all over your walls. No worries if you don’t have a projector toy, flashlights and laser beam pens work just as well!

Strategy #3: Music

Listening to music is extremely relaxing on your kid’s mind and body. Music can go as far as slowing their heart rate to make them more at ease while sitting on the toilet. You can include them in the process and make a playlist of their favourite songs and then they can listen to it whenever they use the bathroom.  

Strategy #4: Moonlite Story Projector 

Moonlite is a story book projector for your mobile phone and it has been a game changer in my house! You simply clip the photo-reel onto your phone’s camera and project your kid’s favourite story books onto the walls. It’s a total win-win situation since they’ll also be exercising their brain!

My one piece of advice to you is to remember that what works for one might not work for another. It’s best to think first about what relaxes your child on a daily basis and then introduce that into the bathroom environment. 

 If you need more comprehensive support around toilet training then book in a FREE 30 minute call so we can start developing a plan for you.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. for additional parenting strategies and support make sure to join my online community Behave it or NOT! or follow along on Instagram @cori_stern

Double-click to edit...

Spending Quality Family Time Over The Holidays

Holiday season is in full swing. 

Whether you are going away on vacation, hanging at home for a staycation, or just taking a few days off of work- this is the perfect time to take advantage and spend some quality time together as a family. 

This is your time to make some amazing memories, start new traditions, or revisit established ones.

Regardless, the Learning Specialist in me is always trying to find ways to keep my kids learning new things in fun and engaging ways. I like to build this into our quality family time, both over the holiday season and summer vacation.

The secret here is to give them fun and motivating activities to do that incorporate some of the goals and skills they are working on in school. Sometimes, I’ll create a calendar to plan out different activities, spacing them throughout the holidays. Here are five of my favourites that you can try out.  Each of these activities can be tailored to suit any child’s age and abilities.

1. Baking– Pull out that favourite cookbook of yours or go online with your kids and find a recipe that seems to be a crowd pleaser. Not only is baking a fun activity for the family, it incorporates a bunch of different learning skills across different curriculum areas. Baking integrates math (measuring ingredients), decoding and reading comprehension (reading and understanding the recipe), skills for following directions (following instructions) and health and safety concepts. If you have kids that are not reading yet, you can find many resources that have visual recipes instead of written recipes. The best part about this activity is that you end up with something really yummy in the end! I highly recommend this activity for kids who are learning to eat new and different foods- there’s no better way to introduce your child to new foods. 

2. Find A New Hobby– Sit down with your kids and brainstorm a list of hobbies that are not currently a part of your daily life. The holidays are a great time to try something new! These hobbies can range from crafting, playing sports, scrapbooking, cooking, photography, board games, DIY projects, gardening, card games, painting, yoga and the list goes on…. Challenge yourself and your kids to dive into a new hobby that is likely out of your comfort zone. Picking up a new hobby means learning new skills. Remember to choose something that is suitable so that everyone in the family can participate. 

3. Library Scavenger Hunt- When’s the last time you were at the library? A lot of families might not frequent the library as much as they used to in the past now that reading resources are so easily accessible online. The library is a wonderful place for tactile learning experiences. Why not take advantage of this and send your kiddies off on a scavenger hunt throughout the library? Start off by creating a list of things for them to search for in different books. I would advise creating a list that is broken down by people, places and things. For example, on your people list might be a princess, a dog, a mother and a baby. On your places list might be a farm, a school, a park and a shopping mall. Lastly, on your things list might be a bicycle, a sandbox and a tree. Once again, if your kids are at the stage where they are not reading yet, you can create a visual list for them by finding images online and pasting them into a word processing document. Print it off and you are ready to go! The person that finds the most items from the list in a given amount of time wins a prize! 

4. Make a Movie or Documentary- Nowadays kids seem to be quite motivated by technology. There is a lot of great value that technology brings to the world of education and learning. The best part about this is that there’s a lot of technology out there that makes it easy for kids to participate. This activity is great because you can stretch it over a few days. Have your kids create a script. You can provide them with guidelines for the script based on the writing skills they are working on in school. If they are too young to be physically writing stories, have them create them orally and jot them down as they share them with you.  Give them the option to exercise their imagination by either writing a non-fiction story or a documentary. Once they have written the story, they can put together their cast and sets and get filming. Filming can be done on any smartphone, tablet or a good old video camcorder. Once they have created their masterpiece, it’s time to call in the troops for the big screening. Pop some popcorn and sit back as your kids present their feature film. You are guaranteed to have very happy and proud kiddos once they complete this project.

5. Be a Tourist- One last activity that I highly recommend trying out is being a tourist in your own city. As parents, our lives are often so busy with day-to-day stuff that we sometimes don’t get much opportunity to burst out of our bubble. Touring your own city can provide a great geography and history lesson for your kids. Do a walking city tour, visit historical sites, get on the ‘hop-on, hop-off bus’ (if your city offers one). Check out a local museum, art gallery or science center. If you live in a multicultural city, you can consider visiting different restaurants or markets that represent those different cultures in your city. Go online and see if your city is hosting any special events for the holiday season that are family friendly. If you live in a very small city or town, you can always consider a road trip to a neighbouring city. Don’t forget to bring your camera!

Double-click to edit...

Teaching Gratitude Over The Holidays

It’s officially December! Whaaaaaat?!?! How the heck did that happen. 

Here we are! I’ve been hearing Christmas music on the radio for a few weeks now 😂.

The holidays are upon us.

Every year around this time I have the same thought pop up in my mind.

What do I want to teach my kids about the holidays? 

Should I put a lot of emphasis on the religious stuff? 

The traditional stuff? 

The cultural stuff?

How should I leverage this opportunity to support my child’s growth and development???

So far we’ve had a mix of the above make its way into our home over the holidays, and it's worked for us.

Now, aside from all the uncertainty around the religious, traditional, and cultural stuff that I should be introducing my children to, the one thought in my head that has been MOST consistent year to year is this idea around teaching gratitude. 

Aside from modelling this day to day, the holidays are a fantastic opportunity to teach our children about gratitude. 

To preface all of this…. Let’s quickly talk about the topic of gifting & abundance.

How many toys does your child have that they NEVER EVER play with?

How much clutter does the abundance of toys in your house occupy?

Does your child play with a new toy for a few days and then completely forget about it?

When you try to get rid of toys does your child all of a sudden act like it's their most favourite toy EVER?

What the heck are we teaching our children by giving them an abundance of gifts all at once? or big grand gifts that are just over the top. Does it become more about us than them?

Isn't your child more into the box or wrapping paper than the actual toy??

How can we teach the concept of appreciation & gratitude when there's such an abundance, and set expectations around gifting this time of the year. Truth is...It becomes really really hard. 

So in light of this, here are 3 things you can try out to avoid the abundance and really focus on what matters; appreciation & gratitude for what you have and what you get. 

In my books- it's always going to be quality over quantity! 

1. Experiences over material items - if any gift givers are asking you for input, recommend gifting an experience vs. a toy. This is a great way for children to be out in the world learning all types of skills and building memories. This year my kids got tickets to see Cirque Du Soleil from their grandparents. Last year I bought my cousins' kids gift certificates to the movies. In the past I've also done tickets to the aquarium, zoo, science centre, & Canada's Wonderland. Now, this can be a win-win if the person gifting the experience wants to enjoy the experience with your child- they take your child out & you get a bit of a break! #momwin

2. Stash & Store - This is my go-to around holidays and birthdays. When my children get an abundance of stuff all at once, I literally hand them 1-2 new items and stash the remaining items away in storage. Out of sight, out of mind! I now have a bank of new toys and activities that I can either pull out on a rainy day or use as a reward for exceptional behaviour. The point is, they come out very slowly over time. This gives them the opportunity to play with their new toys and appreciate them without being distracted by 1000 others.

3. Donate - If you know your child is receiving an abundance of toys and there's no way to avoid it, then build in a pay-it-forward system. Find local charities that take toy donations over the holidays. Have your child physically go with you and donate a toy to someone in need. To make this meaningful, discuss with them the importance about donating toys. This is a great way to teach gratitude. Our preschool has a local toy drive every year so we always load up a bag of unused toys and all head over together to drop them off. You can go one step further and have them donate something they actually like or care about. Giving up something you care about is a very hard skill for a child- this is a great opportunity to strengthen that skill!

I’d love to hear what you think about these ideas. Hit reply and let me know. If you are taking your child to donate stuff- take a pic and tag me on instagram (@cori_stern) or post it in Behave it or NOT! so I can send you over a virtual high five. 

Make this holiday count!

You’ve got this!

Cori

P.s. If you’re feeling stressed about the holidays and need a few strategies to get you through then book in a FREE 30 min call so we can chat. 

Double-click to edit...

The Beauty of Visual Schedules.

Quick question for you. How many times a day do you look at your schedule, calendar, or agenda?

I don't know about you but one of the first things I do every morning is open my daily calendar. I always need to review what's on tap for the day so I can mentally prepare myself and have an idea of how my day is going to be structured. This grounds me big time

I also take a good glance at it every Sunday evening so I have a clear idea of what my week looks like.

I would feel 100% completely lost without my calendar.

I don't only have 1 calendar- I have multiples!!! Call me cray.
I have a calendar for work, each of my kids, family stuff, and birthdays.

If I had to rely on my own memory to keep me on track and organized I'd be doomed in seconds.

You probably wouldn't be reading this and we wouldn't probably wouldn't be friends because I wouldn't be so on top of my shit with work.

So here's the deal.... Our kids are NO DIFFERENT!

To be successful, they need predictability!

To feel grounded, they need to know what's expected of them!

To stay focused, they need a plan!

They need a routine, just as much as we need it. Maybe more.

Visual schedules are one of the most powerful tools I use to help my children build routine in their daily life.

I like visual schedules A LOT.

They work as mini calendars for our kids.

They are EXTREMELY effective for kids.

Why you ask? Great question!

because they're concrete.

because kids can glance at them and review them anytime.

because they create a sense of empowerment for kids.

because they don't negotiate. kids can't get into a power struggle with a visual schedule.

This takes a lot of pressure off of parents to be the broken record to keep reminding their kid to do something.

I hate having to ask my kids to do something more than three times. That's where my patience wears thin.

I rather direct them back to their visual schedule then me raising my voice and losing my cool.

the best part about all of this is that once your kid has enough repetition and practice following the visual schedule- they likely will go into autopilot and Ta Da! learning has happened.

Visual schedules don't have to be fancy or high tech. You can grab scrap paper and write out a schedule for your kid if their reading or you can use stickers or simple drawings to create one.

Here's an example of a visual schedule one of my clients recently create for her 6 & 7 year old. It's so simple- she's sticks it on the fridge. She creates them daily or reuses them if she can! Her kids love coming home to check the schedule on the fridge. She also feels like it helps reduce a lot of the stress she experiences at home between the hours of school ending and bed time.

Here’s another example of a visual schedule I use with my kids for their morning routines. They are slightly different than each other because we’re currently toilet training my son so we’ve built in a potty break into his morning routine to make that a regular thing for him.

Here’s your homework. Choose one part of your day that you find stressful. Take out a piece of paper and create a visual schedule for your child. Review the schedule with them- you might have to put in a bit of teaching time but trust me…. short term pain for long term gain. It’s a huge win.

You’ve got this!

Cori

p.s. If you need any help with this in any way, then I want you to book in a FREE 30 minute Strategy call with me so we can get you started with this. I think every parent needs this one in their toolbox.

Stop the crying!

Today I'm sharing a strategy I use at home with my kids that's been extremely effective in helping them manage their emotions. a.k.a. a way of reducing a ton of unnecessary crying.

so you know when you're kid is playing and then all of sudden takes a spill and falls down. sometimes they're hurt, sometimes they're scared and sometimes they're in shock. ya?

well if you're living through the toddler or preschool phase right now then this is probably happening on the daily.

how do you respond to this?

Do you console them?

Tell them they're ok?

Let them just cry it out?

I'm mean sometimes it's hard to know if they've really hurt themselves or not. What I do know is that sometimes the cry is so loud and shrieking that I just want to make it STOP!

Sometimes, we don't necessarily see the exact fall but hear the aftermath of it.

I'm always trying hard to provide the emotional support my kids need but I don't want to coddle too much or be overbearing because I want them to learn how to communicate their thoughts and feelings when emotions rise. However, when they're physically hurt I obviously want to give them the care they need.

So... how do we know if they're actually hurt or scared or insert another emotion. Sometimes a cry is a cry is a cry.

here's your answer. you ask them!

you have to teach this up but with a bit of practice you'll be shocked how quickly your kid (even in the midst of a complete outburst) can tell you exactly what's going on.

The second I hear crying from a fall or such I always react by hugging my child and then by saying "is it an ouchy or a scary?"

If my child responds by saying "ouchy" then I have them show me where the pain is and we address it accordingly (usually a kiss or ice pack does the trick)

If my child responds by saying "scary" then I always reassure them that they're ok and ask them if they're brave. Once the crying has calmed, I get them to repeat back to me "I am brave"- (I love affirmations)

Getting them to identify what's going on is an amazing way to build awareness around the emotions they're experiencing and it's also a great way to interfere with the crying #winwin

If you use this strategy consistently, you're child will start to expect you to respond this way and will then get to a point where they just come running to you crying saying "ouchy" or "scary".

This has been a lifesaver in our house, especially with my sensitive, emotional, and very clumsy 3.5 year old.

Give it and try and let me know how it goes.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you’ve got a toddler or preschoolers that refuses to listen to you or melts down easily when you ask them to do something then I’ve got something for you. These toddlers and preschoolers love a good power struggle!!! If you want to learn how to get your kid to listen to you without yelling or having to constantly repeat yourself then grab my FREE cheatsheet. It has 7 strategies you can start using right away!

Double-click to edit...

How to ask for help!

Schools in! #campmom's out! .... and we're back to our regular programming.

I want to throw something your way and would love to hear your thoughts on it. This has come up in my practice a lot recently with so many parents so I'm addressing it head on.

As parents we're so quick to respond to our kids (regardless of age) and offer them help when we see they're struggling. 

This could be at any given minute of the day. 

On the playground, during meals, bedtime, you name it!

However.... when WE are struggling it's sometimes so difficult to seek out help and support for ourselves.

I'm talking about struggling with our own self care, our own anxieties, our frustrations, our health, our happiness and overall well being.

What the heck is that all about?

Would you agree?

I'm guilty of this, no doubt!

This is a parenting phenomenon. point blank.

There's good reason for this and there's definitely strategies I've starting using over the past few years that I've been successful with.

At the end of the day you're not the only one who suffers when you avoid asking for help. Your child's in the mix as well. 

I'm all about community support, which is exactly why I pour some much time and love into Behave it or NOT! It's my labour of love that has giving me so much support and reassurance from people like you who are doing the parenting thing at the same time.

Asking for help is about to get so much easier. Here are my 3 strategies on how to ask for help.

....with that said, I've got to go find someone to help me out right as my boy's home sick after day 1 of school and this mama's gotta work 😭 (something's gotta give) 

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If I can do this, so can you. I learned very quickly after my second was born that asking for help is a lifesaver. I barely took it when offered with my first.

Double-click to edit...

This will give you the shivers

So as we roll into September, I basically feel like New Year's is approaching. It's this idea of resetting our routines from summer, starting a new school year, and getting back into our groove from the lax of summer days.

This has truly been an amazing summer. I got to spend the entire month of August home with my kids hanging out. I've witnessed so much developmental growth over the summer, which I always find fascinating.

One of the BEST parts of this summer was having the opportunity to speak with one of our moms who recently completed one of my online programs; The Stress Free Mealtime Manifesto.

The transformation she's made with her son is unbelievable! I literally had shivers running down my spine the entire time we spoke. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

When we developed the program our intention was to help families reduce stress around mealtime. In my wildest dreams, I never thought the program could bring so much change to one family in such a short period of time.

I couldn't have made this up if I tried. This mom has a 3 year old son who was born with low birth weight so the pressure to get food in him was on since day 1. After completing The Stress Free Mealtime Manifesto....

He went from underweight ➡️ to gaining weight!

He went from refusing every meal ➡️ to now running to the table for dinner!

He went from refusing new foods ➡️ to now trying new foods!

Mom went from dreading mealtimes ➡️ to really looking forward to them!

Parents went from a lot of arguing ➡️ to coming together on a united front!

🔊🔊🔊 Listen to her story, it will give you the shivers. I've been doing a happy dance around the clock since Angela initially shared her journey with us!

This is exactly why I do what I do!

Enrolment for The Stress Free Mealtime Manifesto will be opening again in about a month's time. If this mama could do it, so can you!

You've got this!

- Cori

p.s. I want you to always remember that it's never too late to make changes so you can squash the parenting stress. You always have the choice to step it up and try something different or continuing doing what you're doing and let the stress build. Don't forget it 😉

6 Back to School Tips For An Easy Transition.

Summer is almost over (sigh) and that means school is fast approaching! This week I am going to share with you a few of my favourite tips to get you and your family ready for the transition. The better you can prep your family, the easier those first few weeks back will be. I’ve already started working through most of the strategies with my family. Your turn!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #1: Create a solid morning routine!

I am NOT an early to rise person and neither is my family but the last thing I want is for my kids to be late to school. By creating a well-planned morning routine you can get out of the house on time with little to no bumps along the way (exciting right?!). Start practicing your back-to-school morning routine NOW!

I always pack backpacks the night before and leave them at the front door with the zipper wide open so all I have to do is plop the lunch box in. Sounds so insignificant but was a game changer when I started doing it. #backtoschool

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #2: Fake it until you make it!

If you’re feeling stressed or anxious about school starting than your child is likely going to pick up on this and follow suit. Consider how your own behaviour is affecting your child’s. Stay calm and positive in front of your child-even if you don’t feel that way inside. Let your child decide on their own if they’re going to have anxious feelings or not. 

P.s. feeling anxious about back to school is totally normal- especially for those who are sending their first child off to kindergarten! I’m 100% anticipating those back to school jitters myself.

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #3: Involve your kids during back to school shopping

Back to school sales are on!! Those sales hit a sweet spot, but that cart can’t push itself so make sure to involve your kids in your back to school shopping! This gives you an opportunity to talk to them about school while doing something that makes them excited for what lies ahead

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #4: Familiarize your child with their school 

Our kids thrive off of predictability. There’s no better way to make them less anxious for school than by visiting it! Play in the school playground and start walking or driving the route to school on your daily outings. Take pictures of your child’s school so you guys can look at them together. This is a great conversation starter!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #5: Get back into a good bedtime routine

Sleep is one of the most important players in a successful transition. Proper sleep hygiene is extremely important for growth and development. A well rested child will be more resilient through change. Start getting back into a good bedtime routine NOW! If you stretched bedtime over the summer, start to slowly shift it back in 15 minute increments until you are back to your regular. Starting Monday this will definitely be going down in the Stern house!

BACK TO SCHOOL TIP #6: Connect your child with their friends 

A familiar face will make a huge difference when your kid goes back to school. Try to schedule in a play date before school starts. I’ll be setting up a few playdates at our school playground so my daughter can reconnect with her classmates who she hasn’t seen in two months. Feeling connected to others plays a huge part in reducing anxious feelings, especially with transitions. 

You’ve got this!

-Cori

p.s. If you’re feeling stressed about the transition back to school? Worried your kid will be emotional and attached to your hip until you have to pry their hands off? If you find transitions challenging, let me give you solutions to make this one a little more seamless.  Book in a FREE 30-minute call so I can understand where you’re at. From one mama to another- I’m here for you! 

Double-click to edit...

Monkey See, Monkey Do 🙈

So the moral of the story today is... your child watches your every single move. Monkey see, monkey do is a real thing. DO NOT forget that.

My 5 year old is at camp this week but only enrolled half days in the mornings. We've been spending our afternoons together, which has been really nice. Yesterday afternoon, I had to jump on a quick work call so I stepped into a quiet room and left her to play on her own. She's amazing an entertaining herself, and can literally keep herself busy with imaginary play for hours.

When I got off my call, I noticed she was playing in the bathroom so I headed in that direction to see what she was up to. To my absolute surprise, when I turned the corner it became VERY apparent to me that Barbie had just gotten her first hair cut.

YUP.

that's right.

My 5 year old found a pair of scissors from a utility drawer in my kitchen, got comfy on the bathroom floor and went to town on Barbie's hair.

At first I wanted to lose my shit on her because...
a. safety first
b. there was a HUGE annoying mess all over my bathroom (I hate cleaning anything)

but... I then had to realize that this wasn't her fault at all. This was totally MY doing.

I cut my own kids' hair (usually in the bathroom) and she's obviously experienced it and seen me do it on her brother a handful of times. We've never talked about scissor safety around cutting hair or why's it's important for grown ups only to be cutting.

She didn't know any better. She was just modelling something she'd see me do.

She was exercising her imagination, which I'm all for!

To be honest I was more relieved than anything that she experimented on Barbie and not her own hair (she's got this amazing head of blonde curls- I would have been so sad if she slaughtered it).

So when I actually realized what had just happened, my response to her was (in a very calm tone)...
next time you have the idea of cut your dolls hair, please speak to mummy or daddy so we can make sure it's safe and so we can find a good spot in the house to do.

I knew if I yelled at her and blamed her for all the wrong, then no doubt this would happen again behind closed doors because she would totally be afraid of our reaction.

again... this was just a 5 year old girl modelling what she had seen mum do and was using her imagination in play.

In the next day or so, her and I will have another conversation to reflect on what happened and discuss what we'll do different next time to make sure all is good.

no blame. no shame. no pain involved over here!

I can't stress enough how much your own behaviour dictates your child's behaviour.
Your kiddo is watching your every move.

You are your child's most influential teacher in life.

You've got this,

- Cori

p.s. as stressful as parenting can be... you need to know you're not in it alone. Parenting is NOT intuitive, it's hard eff-ing work. If you need solutions, a plan, or a sounding board then let's get on the phone and chat. Book in a 30 minute call (this one's on me)

Double-click to edit...

I did it... I caved.

It's been a busy few weeks over here at Cori Stern headquarters. There's so many exciting things happening. I'm starting to lose track of the days (luckily not my kids). I sort of feel like I have baby brain all over again- this is NOT a hint. Just a surge of overwhelm from being an entrepreneur, mom and wife. Balancing it all is hard AF.

Thanks to a good friend....I recently gave in and subscribed to GoodFood. One of these meal delivery subscriptions that nicely portions out fresh meals, packages them and leaves them on your door step. All you literally have to do it cook the meal. I've been hearing about it for years, but it never once appealed to me.

He doesn't work in the industry anymore but... My husband is a trained chef and cooks a lot at home, why the heck would I subscribe (was my thought once upon a time).... I'm the furthest thing from a trained chef and try to avoid the kitchen at all costs.

But in comes life.... so my thought process has changed a bit. Work has exploded for me in the best possible way and my husband has also been busier than ever at work. He's getting home later, which is leaving me as the primary to prepare dinner for us. Given the busy-ness of it all, preparing dinner at the end of the day has become a huge pressure point for me.

I HATE IT!

It takes time away from hanging out with my kids after the school day.

It requires cleaning up a mess (and somehow I end up using every utensil in the kitchen)

It requires planning and thinking a head of time so I have all the ingredients I need, etc. (I have the worst memory EVER so this is really effortful).

It literally creates so much stress for me that by the time we sit down to eat dinner I'm wiped, sometimes irritable, and not present the way I want to be at mealtime with my children.

so... I caved. I subscribed. and I'm thrilled.

It takes the guessing work & grocery shopping out of the process. This alone for me is a HUGE win! Now I get why people do this!

With this system in place, I've been able to sit down with my family at dinner and feel way more calm and relaxed. It's opened up space to have great conversation during dinner and also feel more present and playful with my kids. As a result, my kids are happy little people who eat all their food. It's been a game changer.

Now, I don't see myself doing this as a full time thing BUT.... I will definitely lean on this strategy when we have extremely busy weeks.

Showing up to a mealtime with my children feeling stress is NOT worth it. I've made this firm decision in my own parenting because I truly believe that...

☝bringing stress to the table can negatively impact my children's' behaviours,

☝it takes away from the quality of my time spent with my children,

☝it can inadvertently intercept my children's healthy relationship with food.

That's what I've got for you today. I'd love to know your thoughts. What strategies do you use to show up to mealtime being the best parent you can be.

One last thing…. my kids were also extremely excited about the box delivery. According to my 3 year old it’s a Firetruck, and if you ask my 5 year old it’s a Mermaid’s seashell. Regardless it’s provided hours of entertainment #momwin!

You've got this,

Cori

p.s. If you have a 2015 baby then you check out my upcoming ONLINE event “Transitioning into Kindergarten”. It’s happening May 29th @ 7:45pm (EST). This is your chance to know exactly how to get yourself and your child through this transition. Registration is ONLY $25 until May 3. The price will go up after that. Hope you can make it!

Double-click to edit...

Understanding Picky Eating

This week I'm sending out a message that I think all parents need to hear. 

I was recently working with a client of mine who has 2 kids- one's 4.5 and the other is 1.5. This mama initially reached out to relieve the boat load of stress she carries with her from her 4 year old who has a VERY VERY limited repertoire of foods that she eats. 

There are a few reasons why this causes her so much stress, but it really burns when she has to sit her two kids down to eat at the same time and her 1.5 year old literally eats anything and everything, while her other has such a limited palate. 

She's concerned about the anxiety this creates for her older one
She's concerned that her older one isn't getting enough nutrition
She's concerned that her older one is going to develop a complex around this, that will effect her mental health down the line.

This is my message to her and any other parents who battles any ounce of stress from raising a picky eater. 

Feeding and eating are skills that need to be learned. These are not innate skills that we are born with. The good news about this is that we can teach our children these skills. These are skills children can learn over time. The research shows that children need to be exposed to foods 15-20 times before they are even willing to put it in their mouths. This number jumps to about 30 times for children on the Autism Spectrum.

There are several foods I eat now that I would have NEVER touched as a child. Foods that my own children have absolutely loved from day 1. Go figure!

Taste buds evolve over time, but for some that might mean years. and that OK.

While some of us have taste preferences (mine’s forsure salty), some children are very sensitive to textures. Again, this doesn’t have to be a forever thing- there’s ways to teach your child to eat different textures.

Some children have oral motor challenges that make eating very difficult. This has to do with all those tiny muscles in and around your face that are involved in eating. This might not be obvious to the naked eye, but highly trained professionals can assess this and prescribe treatment to address it! I’m working through these exact challenges right now with my son. We see an Occupational Therapist for feeding therapy to help strengthen his cheeks and lips so he can better develop a solid rotary chew so he’s not a complete disastrous mess after each meal. I would have never known that was his challenge if I didn’t have him assessed. But it all makes sense now!

Lastly, there only one way to know if your child is getting enough nutrition. That information will come directly from your child’s doctor. It’s your child’s dr’s responsibility to track their height and weight over time. Some dr’s chart this on a growth chart and some don’t- but either way they can look at the growth over time and tell you if your child getting enough of what they need.

Bottom line, feeding your child isn’t as intuitive as you might have thought it is. If you see emerging signs of a picky eater or currently have a picky eater I want you to rest assured that this isn’t definitive. Also know, that if their picky eating is something you are comfortable with (given that your child is following their own growth curve) then that’s completely fine too! Each parent has their own end goal in mind and that’s yours to hold on to.

If your end goal is to raise a child that a healthy and balanced relationship with food, then there are lots of do’s and don’t on the parenting end that you need to be cognizant of. I’m going to be sharing those do’s and don’t in the coming weeks so stay tuned….

Deep breath! You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you are dealing with any type of feeding problem at home and are looking for a dynamic solution then I want you to reach out so we can chat. Book in your FREE 30-minute call. 

You can learn more about my Multidisciplinary Feeding Team here.

3 Ways to Teach Your Child to Eat Foods You Don't Necessarily Like Yourself.

Random question for you...

On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like tomatoes?

I can honestly say I do NOT. I have a very hard time tolerating raw tomatoes in my mouth. For me it's a texture thing.

I love tomato sauce (Costco White Linen brand is my fav),

tomato soup.. yum!

cooked tomatoes.... not my fav, but don't mind them.

Am I weird!?! This is something I'm working on. I often go back to trying little bits and pieces of raw tomatoes in my salads and recipes. I'm starting to tolerate small little pieces in salads but it's a work in progress.

So I'm telling you my deepest and darkest secrets here because I faced a huge challenge when it came time to introduce my children to tomatoes.

I must say I was a bit stumped. I was so enthusiastic about all the other foods that I introduced to them before the red round veg. How the heck was I going to do this!?!

Well mamas & papas...

I did it.

My children are just about 5 & 3 and both of them eat tomatoes. raw tomatoes. cooked tomatoes. tomato sauce. and everything in between.

I recently shared my "how to" with a client of mine and thought this would be good for any parent who is teaching their child to eat a new food that they themselves might not necessarily like. I can't stress enough how much your attitude and behaviour towards food directly effects your child's. Please be very mindful of your actions and approach when teaching your child to eat. We are all in the business of raising well balanced children who have a healthy relationship with food.

More on the importance of that healthy relationship to come. But for now….

3 Strategies for teaching your child to eat foods you don't necessarily like yourself.

1. Check your shit at the door. Regardless of how much you dislike a food, when you introduce and feed it to your child you make absolutely no mention of your preference, or lack there of. You approach the situation in a very neutral way and serve it up like it's no big deal. Watch your body language here- kids can read you like a book. This means your facial expressions, the way you look at the food, and your proximity to the food. When I put tomatoes on the table, I simply act the same way as if I were putting a juicy watermelon out for grabs (love watermelon!). I welcome it to the table and show the exact same enthusiasm.

2. Choose a model. Being mindful in this process includes thinking things through before putting food on the table. If you are going to introduce your child to a food that you will NOT eat then make sure to introduce it when there's someone around that will eat it. So... in the early days when tomatoes came up on my list, I made sure to introduce it for the first couple of times while my husband was home. It's important that children see us eat the food we are asking them to eat. Children learn directly through their environment! They are looking to you for that thumbs up or down.

3. Choose 1 Interaction- A big part of teaching kids how to eat has to do with how they're exposed to foods at a young age. The process of teaching your child to eat is NOT limited to them putting food in their mouth and deciding if they like it or not.  Dietician, Ahuva Magder Hershkop uses the first date analogy, which I really love. She always questions whether or not you'd kiss a person on a first/blind date. Most people would say 'no' (no judgement here if you're a 'yes') but you'd take your time to get to know the person, feel them out, and over time decide if you're into them or not before you lunge in for that first kiss. Kids are no different with food. Sometimes they need to interact with food in different ways before they are willing to take a bite. So this is your chance to pick up that tomato and find something to do with it, other than eat it. Play with it together, smush it up, blend it, juice it, whatever floats your boat. Just remember that you can introduce it to your child without any pressure to actually consume it!

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. There are ONLY 3 tickets left for my event next week "Transitioning into Kindergarten". If you've got a 2015 baby, this one's for you. If you haven't already starting prepping your child for this HUGE transition, you better get going. Come kick off you Kindergarten prep with me next week. All the info you need is right here!

Double-click to edit...