Today I'm sharing a strategy I use at home with my kids that's been extremely effective in helping them manage their emotions. a.k.a. a way of reducing a ton of unnecessary crying.

so you know when you're kid is playing and then all of sudden takes a spill and falls down. sometimes they're hurt, sometimes they're scared and sometimes they're in shock. ya?

well if you're living through the toddler or preschool phase right now then this is probably happening on the daily.

how do you respond to this?

Do you console them?

Tell them they're ok?

Let them just cry it out?

I'm mean sometimes it's hard to know if they've really hurt themselves or not. What I do know is that sometimes the cry is so loud and shrieking that I just want to make it STOP!

Sometimes, we don't necessarily see the exact fall but hear the aftermath of it.

I'm always trying hard to provide the emotional support my kids need but I don't want to coddle too much or be overbearing because I want them to learn how to communicate their thoughts and feelings when emotions rise. However, when they're physically hurt I obviously want to give them the care they need.

So... how do we know if they're actually hurt or scared or insert another emotion. Sometimes a cry is a cry is a cry.

here's your answer. you ask them!

you have to teach this up but with a bit of practice you'll be shocked how quickly your kid (even in the midst of a complete outburst) can tell you exactly what's going on.

The second I hear crying from a fall or such I always react by hugging my child and then by saying "is it an ouchy or a scary?"

If my child responds by saying "ouchy" then I have them show me where the pain is and we address it accordingly (usually a kiss or ice pack does the trick)

If my child responds by saying "scary" then I always reassure them that they're ok and ask them if they're brave. Once the crying has calmed, I get them to repeat back to me "I am brave"- (I love affirmations)

Getting them to identify what's going on is an amazing way to build awareness around the emotions they're experiencing and it's also a great way to interfere with the crying #winwin

If you use this strategy consistently, you're child will start to expect you to respond this way and will then get to a point where they just come running to you crying saying "ouchy" or "scary".

This has been a lifesaver in our house, especially with my sensitive, emotional, and very clumsy 3.5 year old.

Give it and try and let me know how it goes.

You've got this!

Cori

p.s. If you’ve got a toddler or preschoolers that refuses to listen to you or melts down easily when you ask them to do something then I’ve got something for you. These toddlers and preschoolers love a good power struggle!!! If you want to learn how to get your kid to listen to you without yelling or having to constantly repeat yourself then grab my FREE cheatsheet. It has 7 strategies you can start using right away!