We have a HUGE parenting epidemic on our hands. This epidemic has been termed "distracted parenting". We are all guilty of it to some degree. Distracted parenting has come as result of parents paying less attention to their child because they are distracted with hand held devices such as smart phones and tablets. This is a very scary thing and plays a huge role in why many children don't listen to their parents. Distracted parenting can cause serious emotional, social and behavioural issues for our children.
Think about the message your child is getting when they feel like you aren't paying attention to them because you are busy staring at a screen. Think about what type of behaviour you are modelling for them. Think about how these messages will spill into the development of their social skills.
Just yesterday my two kids were chasing each other in the house playing tag. They were completely engaged with one another. I was prepping dinner at the time so I wasn't a part of the game. At one point I started checking an email on my phone, when my son ran up to me to ask me for something. Caught in the act! I didn't reply to him quick enough so he very loudly said to me "mama, put away phone".
OY! My stomach basically flipped inside out when I heard these words come out of his mouth!
This was a serious ah-ha! moment. I'm very cognizant of my tech usage around my kids but they literally hear, see, and smell EVERYTHING! I figured that since I wasn't directly playing the game with them I could quickly sneak a peak at my email. well that bit me in the ass 😝
Our children need our undivided attention!
It's time to.....
Stop multitasking,
Stop checking your emails, &
Stop glancing at social media when you think they don't realize.
They absorb everything about your non-verbal communication and behaviour.
It's time to put down your cell phones and computers until your child is asleep.
I challenge you to be more present with your child.
I challenge you to be more emotionally available for your child.
I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and feel silly when you play with your child.
Accept my challenge and I can guarantee you a very happy, relaxed and well behaved child.
You in?
I can assure you your child will listen to you A LOT better when they have your undivided attention more often. We need to keep those attention buckets as full as possible!
Here are a few easy ways to become less distracted and more attentive;
1. Out of sight, out of mind!-check your device at the door. When you're home with your child, put your device in a different room away from where you're hanging out. You can find a nice home for it in a closet, a drawer, or a small basket at your front door. If it's out of sight you might be less tempted to pick it up and use it. Remember, your behaviour is reflected in your child's behaviour. They are watching you and will follow suit. We should always be modelling healthy social and emotional behaviour.
2. Turn off your notification-turn your ringer off! turn your notifications off!Silences is a beautiful things. About two years ago I turned off the noise for my email notifications because I found that it started to dictate when and how often I was checking my phone. It became way too consuming for me. It's been a game changer ever since. I only check now when I"m in work mode or once my kids have gone to bed (so now you know why I might not get back to you immediately 😉)
3. Turn off your data -this is for those of you that have very little self control. Turn off your cellular data when you're home. Turn off your wifi. Block it all out. This way nothing's coming in and nothing's going out. About 2 months ago I went over on my data so I shut off my cellular data while I was out of my house and office. This was nothing short of liberating. It took a day to get used to but ended up being glorious.
Try out these strategies and let me know what works for you! Forward this email on to your partner so you're on the same page. I can whole heartedly say, that my children are so much calmer, happier and compliant when I check my device at the door. Challenge yourself and see how well it works for you!
If you're feeling the winter blues or just need some support in your corner then book in your FREE 30-minute strategy call so we can chat! I've got plenty of solutions to help you get your child listening to you.
You've got this!
Cori