When we talk about children's behaviour we know that it is goal oriented. We know all behaviours happen for a reason. There's no such thing as "it happened for no reason" or "it came out of nowhere". Our responses to our child's behaviour will always do one of two things. It will either strengthen the behaviour or weaken the behaviour. If we reinforce the behaviour we will see that behaviour over and over again. If we don't reinforce the behaviour we are likely to see less and less of that behaviour. Starting in the toddler phase of development, we start to experience the ever so famous "power struggle". These power struggles are inevitable, they are exhausting, and they take a toll on our day to day routines. The struggle is REAL! As a preface to all of this, we have to understand that our own behaviour has a direct consequence on our child's behaviour. Often without even realizing it, us parents do things that discourage our child, which often leads to triggering the power struggle. Misbehaved children are often discouraged children and discouraged children love the power struggle the MOST. So... this is good new for us. Wonder why? We have the ability to monitor our own behaviour to make sure we aren't inadvertently discouraging our children in this time of growth and development. You should NEVER mock, criticize, humiliate or use sarcasm with your child. These are very obvious ways that can lead to a discouraged child. We also might do things that are a little less obvious that can cause discouragement. Here are 6 powerful ways to avoid fostering a discouraged child; Try it out! Let me know how it goes! You got this!

1. DO NOT talk about them in front of them when it comes to misbehaviour or anything negative. This just gives a reaction and attention to the negative stuff. Broadcasting this information sends them the message that their behaviour is something worth talking about. Kids love attention (positive or negative)!

2. DO NOT do things for them when they can do on their own. This sends the message that we think they are incapable and have a lack of faith in their skills. This really pisses them off!

3. DO NOT expect perfection. Manage your own expectations- Practice doesn't make perfect, it makes permanent. The more a child practices a skill the deeper in goes into their memory. Don't expect adult like behaviour from them. They are kids!!!

4. DO NOT label your child. Do don't refer to them as the "shy one", the "crazy one", the "artistic one", the "loud one". This puts them under a lens and can be very embarrassing.

5. DO NOT compare your child to another child. Not to another one of your own children or another child in the community. This again comes from a place of judgement and can really hurt a child's self-esteem. Child who feel judged will often rebel and push back harder when it comes to the power struggle.

6. DO NOT overprotect your child. This sends them the message that they can't do things on their own. That they can't think for themselves or act for themselves. This very easily invites the power struggle. Let them have an opinion, make choices, and explore cause and effect variables in the environment (within reason).

Join me in my Facebook group Behave it or NOT! for a lot more practical strategies on managing child behaviour!

- Cori